Saturday, September 02, 2006
aiyo eh...holiday start le...im so not looking forward to it la...so much hw...den so many things to do...den i still need to study!!! >< sj2 =" Hl7"><
HAIXISH...i miss my old carefree life sia...not bounded to anyone...duneed to care abt wad others say or think...haixish...maybe it was a wrong decision all along aye?wad should i do manzzzz.... :( stupid stupid me......anyway...some improvements le la...at least no more awkward silences...haha...lame la...this oso considere as improvment....i muz be a really pathetic loser... >< haixish....maybe joce is right la....it was a mistake all along? right from the very beginning....1st june 2006, 2.54pm...it could be normal...just lyk every other minute...but i willfully chose to make it the moment i regret most now la...blehs...y did i say yes laaaaaa.... ughh...ok la...i noe im being lyk very selfish and unfair to you...but its not lyk i wan to rite...i really duno wad to do mianzzz....can u teach me??? and i duno if i should believe wad u say la.... im more impt but u rmb how long u noe n lyk jh but dun rmb 8sept....asshole...de jh one is lyk thousands of days and u can count and rmb it....but u cant figure out 8sept...wad so difficult abt counting and remembering 100 pathetic days la...retarded moron...haixish...somehow feel dat im very childish la...rmb such stupid things...lyk i haf nth better to do liddat lor...blehs...y should i care if u dun la...i swear im gonna kick ur ass next time i see u if u dun figure out wad 8sept means....i really will kick ur freaking ass okay...all the way to bukit timah...and it shall land on the top of bukit timah hill and become the butt of all jokes...LOL....im lame aye? but i dun care.... XD
i really need to buck up in my studies la...my result slip is lyk only fit to be toilet paper? mostly all Bs...only one pathetic a1 and one a2 only la...blehs...i think i got more b4s den b3s la...din really bother to look at it...looking at it wun chnge de whole situation will it? its time to face reality...secondary school life ain't as easy as wad we experience in cz...its far more torturous...and difficult...maybe my 253 was purely tyco la...i din study...i was playing maple...how could i achieve so muh in that state?i really dunno mianzz..maybe i can do it..if i put in more efforts in studying...and stop comcentrating so much on this and that and this and that....juz let this and that and this and that take its natural course la....wads meant to be will be....no point getting it by force right?if fate is absent then we wun realise each others presence even when we are sitting next to each other...understand?lol...PATHETIC....i guess im de most pathetic gal in de whole world who will never ever succeed in anything...be it this or that or this or that....and i will remain an 80 yr old retarded virgin...and if i ever become a teacher, i will be an 80 yr old menopaused witch dat all my students will hate...a teacher whom they will curse and swear at...and spit saliva on me whenever my back i sfacing them.....scary eh?i think so too....
so who isit now?you or you...i guess its you...cant bluff myself la...its not you...its you....but im alrdy your past...so maybe i should just stick to you now?and become ur future??nah...impossible...you will eventually become lyk you...and you will hurt me...and another you will come by and start promising all those stuff...dat you wun hurt me lyk the others...and all those crap stuff? blehs...and in de end...my life will be filled with yous and promises and broken promises...and if u dig out my heart, u would see all those plasters and scars and wounds and all...those plasters almost bursting...blood yearning to be let out...pain yelling to be heard....and that big sharp knife right in the middle of my heart which nth can replace...blood flows endlessly out of it...nth can stop it...not even the plasters or stitches...it juz wun heal...yeaps...and me...drained of blood...and deaf from the endless shout of the pain.....
yea...so there u are...a descriptive and imaginative and exaggerated essay...haha...i give it 11/10!!! ahahaha.....
& our love goes round and round;
1:05 AM
